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family drama

Food was DEF. not an interest this week, my babe is back in the hospital due to his rare disease.
He was in TONS of pain and it didn't help that his family was full of gossip and drama and getting on him, it only encouraged his stress.

Pros- His mom, aunts, cousins, siblings all like me and want me in his life as opposed to his crazy ass baby's mama (OMG I know right, drama in BOLD letters with that bitch)

Cons- His baby's mother was there and I SWEAR TO WHATEVER GOD YOU BELIEVE IN she put on a fuckin show, I would help my bf sit up in bed or rub/scratch his back and she would run up and start rubbing him faster or more vigorously. I'm thinking to myself, "This isn't a competition to see who rubs the best wtf?!!"
Ridiculous, desperate tactics to appear as if she cared. The drama and gossip started with my bf's aunt mom,etc approaching me to bitch about the baby mama and all her antics. Then telling me how much they like me and how mature I am. (I'm just glad they don't hate me like they do her!!)

The problem was there were MANY conflicting stories, crazy ass bullshit and I realized who was the source of MOST of it. His cousin.

Fucked up shit right?

I was soooo ready to end the relationship, but I'd never end it all without hearing my bf's side of the story and it all came together then.

His cousin WANTS TO FUCK ME, that's the bare bones of it. He sugar coated it with fairy tale stories and OUR possible future *smh*, how lame his cousin (my bf) is, and a bunch of other shady shit. His cousin has been at the hospital as much as myself but he was also always there when I wandered around, offered to take me home and did so.

When the baby mama started acting ridiculous he dragged me from the room and then started making "suggestions" as he likes to call it. But all his suggestions implied my bf of not caring for me. It was FUCKED UP b/c my bf is lying in that hospital bed telling me how great his cousin is and how loyal,etc.
YET, his cousin is tearing him down and disrespecting him, and also hitting on me. Initially he would say how great I am for my bf just like the rest of the family, but then it changed from me being great for my bf to me being great for HIM. My bf did some things that truly upset me so that didn't help me side with him too much. So I'm vulnerable and sad and his cousin is whispering his "suggestions" in my ear, tells me to LISTEN TO MY GUT, I tell him my gut says LEAVE, my heart says STAY. Then he repeats, "Listen to your GUT".

This was after my bf upset me at the hospital, and his cousin took me home. I stated I needed a drink and he brought a bottle over. The entire time I'm talking about my problems and asking more about my bf b/c I assume he would know being his cousin and all. He acted as if he gave a fuck about my bf but I also felt he was trying to do more. I finally said after subtle advances, "Damn I ain't THAT drunk, back up"
He kept trying to HUG and then licked my neck at one point, SOOO GROSS. Keep in mind I LOVE my neck kissed,licked,etc. But I felt sooo disgusted, slimy, hard tongue, rubbing on me from an overweight, backstabbing asshole.

He talked shit about my man and then said "We should keep this between the two of us". Which made me feel uncomfortable b/c I don't keep anything from him, I am very honest with him. So this incident is no different. I'm loyal to my man, NOT his disgusting, fat cousin who doesn't even care about him.

So, he was out of my apartment soon after that tongue lashing and today I told my boyfriend about EVERYTHING.

I was very reluctant at first because I was afraid of the drama it might cause, thankfully my man is calmer than me about things. I knew I had to tell him even though I was contemplating leaving him. He had to know b/c he doesn't need snakes in his life. I asked him a day before I told him, "Is he your cousin by blood or just a close friend?" He stated they were blood proudly and I left it at that. But when I told him about EVERYTHING his cousin and I talked about, I repeated that question and explained why I asked, because I was HOPING this guy that was plotting behind my man's back was simply a friend he could let go, I was HOPING his own flesh and blood wouldn't do this to him.

I mean I know I look good but DAMN.

Initially I think my bf was reluctant to believe me but when I started quoting phrases his cousin threw at me, his face hardened in a way I had never seen. His nostrils flared and he was looking me in the eyes. He knows when I'm uncomfortable b/c I won't look back, I was looking EVERYWHERE but at him for longer than 2 seconds. And he saw how worried I was. His face then dropped and looked sad, I think another wave of pain was coming and they needed to get him more pain meds. I had finished telling him and apologizing even though I had done nothing wrong. I just couldn't live with myself if in the future my bf, his cousin and myself are all spending time together meanwhile his cousin is trying to snag me for himself. Backstabbing my bf and who knows what else he would do. I just wanted him to keep his eyes open to the snakes.

Just b/c they're blood doesn't mean they care.

My bf hugged me, and wanted me to go home. Keep in mind the whole time I was there if I moved my chair his eyes jumped on me as if to say, "Where you going?!!!" After I told him about his cousin, he wanted me to leave. I think he wanted to cry, he looked so hurt. He curled up in a ball in pain probably emotionally as much as physically now. And told me he loved me.

That was hard to watch and walk away from.

I thought he was upset with me, but sure enough hours later he calls irritated b/c I didn't call to let him know I got home safely, which I did, he was just asleep and didn't get my 4 calls or 2 texts. I'm glad to know he still cares about me, I guess that bad news put him in shock for a while.

To sum it all up, his family loves me, especially his mother. His baby' mother hates me and somehow got my phone number *smh* His cousin's phony cover has been blown, and my man is still in the hospital riding out a painful disease while planning a way to gain custody of his children and keep me close. I have never felt so loved and so sad in all my life. This is a damn soap opera, and I play a lead role. And am getting NO PAY for this shit...

Needless to say, food was not an option this week. My hipbones are really showing themselves. I feel empty. And me being skinny has attracted more men (whether I like it or not) than when I was thick and had even bigger boobs and ass... who woulda thought...